


Yarnbombs Away!

by 221b_hound



Series: Captains of Industry [15]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Hipsters, Crafts, Crochet, F/F, Knitting, Melbourne, Penises, Yarnbombing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 02:42:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5480240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221b_hound/pseuds/221b_hound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a lesbian rock chick, Sally Donovan sure had knitted a lot of penises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yarnbombs Away!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girlwhowearsglasses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwhowearsglasses/gifts).



For a lesbian rock chick, Sally Donovan has knitted a lot of penises in her time. For a lesbian, she’s quite fond of them. She and the love of her life began their love affair while making woolly wangs, after all.

It began as a yarnbombing thing – Sally was very much part of the whole Yarnbombing As Act of Rebellion School. She had attended the post-midnight woolly raid on the statues of former politicians in the Treasury Gardens and had felt that adorning the deliberately undersized pollies with crocheted pants and vests and silly hats didn’t really transgress as much as she’d have liked.

The utterly gorgeous woman with the stunning hair had caught Sally’s frown and meaning and had suggested: ‘We should knit them Big Swinging Dicks. Or little willy warmers. In bright colours.’

Sally had grinned at the incredibly pretty woman with the amazing blue and black hair – her name was Molly – and a scheme was born.

They had their first kiss over a basket of fluffy pricks.

They first made love after a night of tying penises in football colours on likely statues (Sir Redmond Barry at the State Library, Chief Justice Higginbotham at the Old Treasury building; all those pollies in The Treasury Gardens) on the night before the AFL Grand Final.

Sally and Molly had so far between them knitted forty three wee peens in rainbow colours, and another four Big Swinging Dicks for equestrian statues. They usually snuck out and sewed them onto statues during the Midsumma Festival and Pride Week, though any time the whole stupid fucking marriage equality laws got pushed into the background as ‘not important’ or ‘for a conscience vote’, brightly coloured dicks appeared all over the inner city.

Sally had also made much more sensible soft penises. Her friend Andy needed soft packing for everyday wear and didn’t like socks for the job, so Sally made him four or five over a summer until they found the size and shape that were most comfortable and fit well with the packing harness. Since then, Sally and Molly between them had made a number of soft packages for friends in the trans community, sewing harnesses as well. Greg helped with some of those too, making and repairing harnesses for hard packs, at low cost or even for free.

Sally even made a penis for Mycroft’s obnoxious little brother once. He was being a git when he saw her knitting at a table and asked how small woollen penises would help change an idiotic public policy, and should she stick to writing music, at which she had some skill?

‘Ridicule works better than rage, sometimes,’ she said, ‘And being outraged constantly is exhausting.’

‘If you think either makes any difference, you’re an idiot,’ Sherlock had said.

Two days later, when he came in to have eye sex with John the barista, Sally presented him with a little bumblebee of a willy warmer – black and yellow stripes, with wings and eyes as well. (Mycroft had made some passing comment about Sherlock’s IT career offering little of practical use towards Sherlock’s desire to be an apiarist one day. This seemed an excellent opportunity to use that knowledge.)

Sherlock had taken the bee dick sock, examined it closely, said, ‘I remain unconvinced about the politics of ridicule, but this is a very well made penis sock. The area at the head has been very finely woven so that it won’t chafe. Though I suppose it was difficult to knit the multiple eyes.’ Sherlock stretched the thing, lengthways, sideways. ‘Excellent give. Room for… expansion, in fact. Thank you.’

Then he held the thing up in the middle of the café to wordlessly show it to his boyfriend.

John finished his coffee pour, looked at the bee, squinted, peered at Sally, who shrugged, and looked back at the penis sock. He looked like he was about to say something but instead arched at eyebrow at Sherlock.

Sherlock grinned.

John grinned.

Sally began to wish she’d never knitted the thing, because now she had, and those two had smiled at each other in that way, she knew that the Bee Dick Sock of Ridicule was somehow going to be turned into a sex toy by those two oversexed idiots.

Next moment, Sally felt two arms slide around her waist and Molly’s lips pressed to her neck, and the best hairdresser and most beautiful girl in the world giggled against the nape of her neck and said softly into her ear, ‘I finished those crochet crotchless panties if you want to try them tonight.’

Sally wriggled her bum a little against Molly, who kissed the back of her neck again.

Let those ridiculous hipster boys have whatever fun could be had out of a bee peen pocket. Sally and Molly had plenty of crochet fun of their own to get on with.

**Author's Note:**

> Several bits of woolly mayhem:  
> This bee sock was a prompt for Atlin's Advent story ["The Birds and the Bees" ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5402675/chapters/12561557) \- she said it was fine to use it as a prompt here too  
> 
> 
> Various sexy knickers from Etsy:  
>   
> 
> 
> Yarnbombing on Elizabeth Street - skulls and guitars  
> 
> 
> Statues:  
> Judge Higginbotham:  
> 
> 
> Two of the politicians in Treasury Gardens:  
> 


End file.
